In this article, we will focus on sexual fantasies that each of us can have. Why do we have fantasies, how they work and above all, how dare to share them with our partner; we give you a lot of information so that you can dare to talk to your partner about them.
What is a fantasy?
According to Larousse, a fantasy is “a representation translating more or less conscious desires” and “a scenario of the fulfillment of the unconscious desire”. This definition makes it possible to contextualize fantasy in sexuality since it corresponds well to an imaginary desire, of which we are lucid even if sometimes, we are not consciously at the origin of it.
THEIn fact, Ipsos carried out a study in 2014 to find out what fantasies are most popular among women and how women relate to them. In addition to learning popular fantasies (like sleeping with another woman or having a threesome), you learn a lot of pretty interesting things about women's relationships with sexuality in general.
For example, 97% of women say that they dare to express their sexual desires easily to their partner even though only 12% of them feel that they do it in a cash way.
But THE answer that is the basis of this article is that only 24% of women dare to fulfill their fantasies ! So it is with great haste that we decided to write an article to help you reverse the trend;).
Indeed, from our point of view, talking about your fantasies is a way to:
- Spice up your relationship by trying new things
- Avoid the sexual routine from taking hold
- Continue to be open-minded so as not to get bored
- Have a good laugh
- Have a good time
Of course, there are certainly many other reasons that can push you to talk about your sexual fantasies and they are unique to each person. One thing is certain, if you want to have a little sexual fun and make the desire last, it's worth a try.
How do you dare to talk about your sexual fantasies?
We've found some simple techniques that will help you free up your voice to share your secrets (but not all of them!) to your partner.
Keep a fantasy journal
When in the morning you wake up with wet sheets after an erotic dream that was worth seeing, pick up a pen and write down your experience in your fantasy journal. It encourages the development of your creativity and to remember its beautiful imagined moments. You can do the same if you are coming out of a solo moment where you used your imagination to the fullest or if you came across a movie scene that excited you. This journal is there for you, to realize the most recurring fantasies and to be able to potentially share them with your darling. You could read him a hot passage to start sharing your desires with him.
Give a note to your fantasies
To help you choose which fantasies you will share with your partner, we suggest that you give them ratings. You can consider scoring them according to two criteria; the first criterion, of Envy, out of 10, will allow you to know which ones you really want to achieve. The second criterion, also out of 10, will help you define the level of realization you want to give to the fantasy. It will leave room for you to ask yourself whether this fantasy should stay in your mind or if it can be fulfilled in real life. To illustrate this technique, we've created a simple example for you:
This technique will allow you not to reveal everything too quickly while testing your partner's reactions. It also has the advantage of encouraging you to keep a secret garden. Obviously, these fantasies are examples and we each have our own. But if one of these appeals to you, we have written other articles including To try anal or even for Try soft BDSM.
The maps of sexual fantasies
For this third and last tip, we are going to get you in the mood! Attention, it is done in two stages;). For starters, You invite your other half over for dinner. At this dinner, you give him two paper cards and you also bring two for yourself. You then give yourself a week to write down the two fantasies you want to share with your partner. During a second dinner, you exchange your respective cards. It is now time for each of you to select your favorite and then share it with the other... You can then have fun together to make them happen!
Keep in mind that to dare to talk about it, you really have to put yourself in the context. Because if you ask your darling for his fantasy at the corner of the pillow, he may well be a little afraid to reveal himself by giving you boat fantasies or by saying that he does not have any. That's why you need to provide context;).
Fantasies yes, but not at all costs
We don't want to say or do everything
Also, it is essential to remember that you have to keep some fantasies to yourself! First, because it is not because we want to achieve something that we will really like this situation. Finally, by realizing one's fantasy, we might not get along and realize that there could have been one left. Then, delivering your fantasies to your partner can be scary. For this reason, we recommend that you go step by step and do it with a person you trust.
I fulfill a fantasy and then it goes wrong
Simply ask your partner to end the sexual relationship. Then communicate. Explain to him why you didn't feel comfortable and ask him what he thinks about it. Maybe he will even agree with you. When there is trust, then everything goes back to normal.
Obviously, to allow you to explore a rich sexual world and develop your sensitivity and knowledge, test! When your relationship is healthy and based on trust and communication, you can talk about anything without judgment. Having new experiences then becomes your norm and will hopefully allow you to make love last.
